Tomorrow I leave for Guatemala City so that I can catch my 7 AM, Saturday morning flight. I have turned away for only a moment, but a moment is all that it takes for something to pass; I am spending my last full day in Antigua. I miss my husband and my kid (to say nothing of the cats--will they even remember me?!?) so much that I can't hardly think about them without wanting to rush to the door so as to hurry my departure. I long for the sensation of being cold--really, really cold. I am thirsty for a drink of water straight from the tap and a toothbrush that doesn't look like it needs to be boiled clean. I yearn to put toilet paper in the toilet instead of the little trash basket that sits discreetly (never discreet enough, though, for a North American) between toilet and wall. I want to sleep with the windows wide open without fear of my mortal enemy, the mosquito. And I am looking forward to throwing the last of my 6th bottle of bug repellent into the trash--the one right next to the toilet. And yet...

I walk around one last time sucking in all that I can absorb of the colors and busyness that are Antigua Guatemala (factoid: in Spanish, city name and country name are not separated by a comma). I stand at the place where the chicken buses depart and listen for the conductors' calls to their various destinations. As one calls out "Ciudad Vieja," I swallow so that my heart falls back into my chest where it belongs. I think of the nineteen faces that I never thought I would be able to distinguish one from the other and I wonder how they could possibly be learning without me. A vain thought, I know, and I am crying just a bit even as I write this because, really, I am probably wrestling with the reality of departure the more than they are.

I will be home in close ot 48 hours. I will begin to do all of the things that come with September: basil needs to be turned into pesto (I hope so, anyway); if I am lucky there will still be a fig or two waiting to be dehydrated. And syllabi need to be written ( I am NOT looking forward to the mess that awaits me at SSCC--my office got moved while I was here in Antigua. Does anyone know where my books are?!?). In addition, my house needs to be put back into order because Richard undertook a home project that turned into un gran lio (closest equivilent to "cluster fuck" in Spanish). These are all things that I want to do, love to do, and right now struggle to imagine doing, as I sit here one last time in Antigua Guatemala telling you of my journey.

Thanks for reading and thanks also to those of you who wrote messages--they were sustenance at times. I am so looking forward to seeing you guys!!!!! When I get home I will post a LOT of pictures as a final entry.
Paz,
Jali